||[Jan. 23rd, 2009|05:59 pm]
The Zatara Diaries
|||||Spanish Songs: The Clash||]|
10:57 AM God, it’s boring here. Do I really have to spend two whole days in this city? God. I’m going to have to figure something out.
11:00 AM Perhaps Eddie and I can go somewhere? To a movie, maybe? Are there any concerts in town? I’ll check.
11:12 AM No concerts. At least, no interesting concerts. There’s a bluegrass festival tomorrow, but I’d rather not.
11:13 AM Bluegrass in San Francisco. Really. I know.
11:16 AM Fuck it. I want a shower. A shower and some waffles. Delicious, delicious waffles. Yes.
12:31 PM Where is Eddie in this godforsaken tower? Why is the guest room on a separate floor? How many guest rooms do they have, anyway? I suppose they’d want to use up the extra space. I can’t imagine what they could possibly need such a tall tower for. Aesthetic sensibilities? Hm.
4:22 PM Oh my God, I cannot even begin to express how completely and utterly pissed off I am right now. I mean, seriously. For one thing, the Titans seem to think that just because I happen to be staying in their tower and I helped them that one time and I guess I’ve been eating their food or whatever, they can just call me up whenever they want and I’ll come running to go save their asses, even if I’m on tour or something, like I was supposed to be before their stupid little club got me into this mess in the first place. But of course I had to take the fucking communicator since Eddie was so fucking excited and I swear to God, the things I do for that boy. He better damn well appreciate it, is all I’m saying. Oh! And that fucking Blue Beetle asshole who keeps acting like he and Eddie have exchanged fucking friendship bracelets like a couple of ten-year-old girls. First of all, I am Eddie’s best friend, and he certainly does not need some ridiculous alien-suited boy with butterfly wings to hold his hand and laugh at his jokes. I am perfectly capable of holding his hand and laughing at his jokes, and don’t think I don’t know about all your friends back in Texas. Or Nebraska or wherever the hell he happens to be from. Somewhere in the Southwest, I think, but all I really know is what Eddie thinks he needs to tell me about when he calls, but he definitely told me all about his new best friend Jaime and all the people he met when they went to go fight the Reach back in Bumfuck, Arizona, or wherever he lives. New Mexico? Clearly, he already has quite the posse and does not need to go around stealing other people’s friends. At least he has a girlfriend, who is apparently magical and useful for guilting me into joining the Titans, because apparently if some girl came over and waved a staff around it would constitute stealing my thunder. I’m sorry, but not unless she did it in a tuxedo. Preferably by speaking backwards. I suppose if they managed to track down that girl who was Zatanna’s apprentice that one time, I might consider my thunder slightly stolen. But really. I have more class than that, Eddie. You can’t just dangle some girl in front of me and expect me to fly off into a jealous rage because she has my spot on the Titans. I don’t even want my spot on the Titans. You can give it to the staff girl. In fact, please do. Especially if it will make your new best friend Jaime angry, like you said it would. Not that I’d want anything to get between you and Jaime. Surely you wouldn’t let something like that get between you, though. I mean, since you’re such good friends. God. Call him more nicknames, Eddie, I dare you. Be more of a flirt. He has a girlfriend, remember? And I’m better looking. And more famous. I have groupies, Eddie. Does Jaime have groupies? I don’t think so. I don’t think they even have groupies out in Podunk, Colorado or wherever he lives. He lives with his mom and dad, Eddie. I have my own apartment. I mean, that is, when I’m not on tour. Because I’m famous, Eddie. And lots of people want to sleep with me. So just remember that while you and Jaime are off frolicking through the desert or whatever it is you two like to do in your spare time. Playing videogames. I don’t know. Remember that you could be with a totally famous guy with magic powers and his own apartment and groupies, instead of Mr. I Have a Bug in My Spine, which is actually rather disgusting and unpleasant. And apparently it’s a talking bug. He hears voices, Eddie. Run as fast as you can. Or just teleport, since you can do that now. Or fly. You know, most people only get to do one or the other. Except, of course, for me, since I can’t do either. I can use a carpet, though. I’ve always meant to enchant a carpet and fly around on it, as flying carpets are reasonably badass as well as fairly classy, especially when my other option seems to be a broom, which would not be nearly as comfortable. I would, I presume, ride it like a surfboard? Although I could sit on it, as could a passenger or two. I should see about purchasing a carpet. Should I go for a traditional multicolored design or something in black in white, perhaps, to match the tuxedo? Red would be acceptable, I suppose. Elegant. I’ll have Bunny look into it. Where is Bunny, by the way? I have not heard from her in days, I swear. Has she booked me a room yet? If I have to live with Eddie and his remarkable talking animals, I swear I will go insane. Possibly I will declare my undying love to him at the top of my lungs. Which is ridiculous, as undying love is for middle-aged women who write romance novels and men who smell funny and sit outside your window at night. And eleven year old girls.
Goddamn Titans and their goddamn delicious pizza. I don’t understand why it’s so delicious. Where does one even get good pizza in San Francisco? I was under the impression that it kind of really sucked.
8:05 PM I think Eddie’s new best friend is a little scared of me now. It’s oddly satisfying. Eddie, of course, maintains that I shouldn’t glower. Oh, Eddie. I glower because I care. Anyway, it was more of a look of contempt, with maybe a little bit of scorn thrown in for good measure. Glower is too sullen—it lacks artistry. Any teenager worth his salt can glower. I am, I like to think, a cut above the rest.
8:06 PM I know I’m a cut above the rest.
10:32 PM I do enjoy watching these movies with Eddie, even if Eddie only lets me pick them because I was in a coma. He can complain all he wants, but I know he has a sophisticated streak, particularly when it comes to old movies. Possibly I just couldn’t sit through another one of those dreadful action movies he watches, although he did seem like he was paying attention. I’d prefer it if he sat a bit closer, but, well, what are you going to do. I could sit in his lap, of course, but it would be awkward. At least his best friend Jaime went back to Utah or whatever. He was not missed, let me tell you.
11:27 PM Fighting crime is actually quite exhausting fighting evil aliens only more so. Did I mention the evil aliens? There weren’t very many of them, but they would shoot these spikes at us which happened to hurt like a bitch. I think perhaps I will go to sleep a little earlier tonight. Tomorrow, maybe, I’ll take Eddie out somewhere, if I can find somewhere to go.